It took me a long time to think differently, to make a bold decision. Once the decision was made it took again a lot of time, just to prepare step 1: getting out of my comfort zone. Finally I am sitting here in my empty appartment with just the clothes that I wear and my travel backpack packed and ready to go. A lot went true my mind removing all my possessions out of my home. I never knew I had so much hidden memories in my house. It seems like yesterday that I arrived in this country with an old car loaded with my stuff, so curious how people accumulate stuff. But seeing these rooms empty gives me the perfect start for a reflective journey. Just as the empty house I must empty my mind, just as I can find a new home I can create new thoughts. Exciting! Back to basics, the next two weeks I will be just walking, eating and sleeping. Living like a nomad. I look forward to it and I know that it will be great experience. It might not be easy or whatever but I will gain some good life experience for that I am sure. I intend to be alone a lot of time and also not to be. Meaning, that I want to be by myself for a vast amount of time in order to think and that I also will embrace meeting all the new people that I will encounter. That is the only thing that I expect from this endeaver. Never did I doubt that I will or will not reach the finish line after 321km, because I made some promesses to certain people. Not being cocky but I got the fysical strenght and now the mental aswel. Being as stubborn as a donkey helps, I leave it for you to decide what will aid me till the end. 🙂
This last weeks have had a lot of turmoil. They were to be expected but yet came unexpected. Do I still make sense to you? I knew that turning my life around would present several challenges, but on the other hand I never knew wich challenges would be giving to me. The ones that are expected are the easy ones, they just are. Those that sneak up upon you are the nasty once, but I am prevailing. Not without blood, sweat and tears but since that I cut my safety net myself it became do or die. Hmm, and it is just the beginning. However defeat will never be recognized by me, so it would only count as a setback. Nothing more.
There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance next time.
– Malcolm X –
Tomorrow I will wake up early, put on my clothes, take my bag and close the door behind me. Not to look back, leaving the old life behind and commencing a new one. All my ties have been cut loose and only my network of people remains. Some think that I am crazy, lots of them admire my actions or envy them. How interesting. I could not tell what I will do afterwards, for it is still a mystery to me. Never in my life have I been so rich and yet so similar to a vagabond. Still no worry comes to mind as I know what I have build up in the past, I also know that I can build up now even more since now I am more. What my life will be next year only depends on what I will be next year. Yeah, that is quite vague. But driving in the mist does not mean that you have to see the destination in order to reach it. Seeing enough to make that next step is sufficient.